As I scroll through these images, I cannot believe that three years have flown by as a breeze on a summer afternoon, so quickly and lightly that I haven’t had a chance to grasp it all! Shirel is three, or a threenager as they like to call it nowadays:) Honestly I had no idea why anyone would use such term, but now that I am the proud yet desperate mother of a three year old girl I most certainly understand:) It is a beautiful age don’t get me wrong, she is able to express almost every emotion, every idea she has, what she does at school, who her friends are, what she wants and definitely what she DOESN’T want, oh and let’s not forget her favourite word NO which she yells loudly from the top of her lungs! Those of you who have a three year old or have had one know exactly what I am talking about!
So my tips on how to handle this phase, though let’s be honest some days are better than others, and whenever I think I’ve got my handle on the situation she just comes out with a new tantrum I have never seen or heard of before. So please take my tips lightly, but do practice patience and breathing in as deeply as possible, because yes this is the time where these little people can drive us to our utter most insanity:)
My Personal Guidelines to a Young, Wild and Three year old:
- DO NOT GIVE IN, I know you have heard this endless times, but this is the age where our children start testing our limits, as well as their own. They are trying to break free, and prove their independence and freedom of speech so to speak. I believe in letting them explore all of it, and finding their own free will, but let’s not forget they do need rules, and structure and we need to pick our fights and never ever let them get away with what we believe is not the right thing for them.
- UNDERSTAND WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR CHILD, it didn’t take me long to understand that yelling at Shirel or raising my voice, just didn’t work, it just drives her into a deeper frenzy, she is also quick at learning and imitating everything she sees and hears, so she just yells back! Which is not something I want to teach her. Therefore I have udnerstood that it is through talking and explanan the same thing every day (though some days it is inevitable and I just YELL, like any other parent does), and if that doesn’t work I practice Time Out, so she gets the point. After Time Out, I sit her down and we talk about what happened and I make sure she understands why she was in a Time Out.
- REPEAT, REPEAT, ALL DAY EVERY DAY, that is what I tell myself, I have to teach her over and over again and explain to her why she can’t only eat chocolate, chips, or candy for every meal of the day:) I have to explain to her every evening that it is important to shower, and it is important to pee before bedtime, and I mean so many things like that every day, are just a repetitive part of motherhood, but essential in teaching them and making them understand that eventhough they don’t like it, or simply want to say NO, it is what is best for them. And I have to say that the fact that she likes to snack on Brocoli while watching her favorite cartoon makes me feel like I have won a small part of the battle:)
- HEAR THEM OUT, eventhough they are little people, they have their own personality, their own thoughts, and ideas and we must listen to them and understand their way of thinking because honestly she does teach me so much about herself and myself.
- UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, in the worst moments when you think your head is about to explode, and you are about to have a meltdown just as them, pick them up and hug them, kiss them, tell them you love them and you are there for them once they decide to calm down. With Shirel it is impossible to speak any sense into her when she is having one of her meltdowns, so I do that and then I proceed to doing other things so she can calm herself down. It is important for them to learn to manager their emotions it is just part of growing up!
These are my little insights into what I learn as a mother, every day is a different story, and I don’t know how she will surprise me sometimes it’s for the best and other times it’s just terrible and I don’t know where to hide:) But it is a choice we make every day to be the best we can for our little ones who are learning to deal with life, and these unknown emotions that they have no idea how to express. All in all, I am so proud of becoming a mother of a 3 year old, and can’t wait to see how she leads her life! I hope this is somewhat helpful, and if you have any tips or comments you would like to leave please feel free, I would truly appreciate it!